Soliloquy of A Mammoth
by Black Oracle
Summary: Beast Wars Neo. Big Convoy, an isolated Maximal General forced into training new recruits aboard the Gung-Ho, remembers why trust in and attachment to others are fragile and dangerous things. A look into the past of the 'One-Bot Army'. 3rd part is up.
1. Chapter 1

This is a fic that I wrote quite a while ago but never posted. In a deviation from my past ROTF and TFA fics, this is a story set in the Beast Wars Neo series.

I've seen virtually no fan fiction about the Japanese Beast Wars cartoons and their characters, even though I know many Transformers fans are aware of them. Beast Wars Neo is a favourite of mine quite simply because of Big Convoy! A totally awesome and cool Maximal (or as the Japanese called them, 'Cybertron') leader in my opinion. His unique isolationist attitude set him apart from most other Autobot/Maximal leaders. He's a character I've wanted to explore for a while.

I've created a bit of back-story for Big Convoy here from before his Beast Wars Neo series adventures, something that I hope could give an explanation for why he became the infamous 'One-Man Army' (or 'One-Bot Army' as I've more accurately adjusted in this fic).

This story is set some time early in the Beast Wars Neo series, soon after Big Convoy has been assigned to train the new Maximal/Cybertron soldiers aboard the Gung-Ho. The narrative will be switching between third-person past tense for flash-back scenes and first-person present tense for Big Convoy's present-time internal narration.

Note that I am using the faction names of 'Maximals' and 'Predacons' here rather than the Japanese names of 'Cybertrons' and 'Destrons'. It's just easier to think in terms of the western Beast Wars terminology. And I've also had the IDW Beast Wars comics roughly in mind as I wrote this, but I draw most information from what I know about the Beast Wars Neo series.

I've recycled some minicon names from the Armada series, but bear in mind that I'm using them for non-related characters in this fic.

Also, I am assuming in this fic that the title of 'Convoy' is of similar high status to the title of 'Prime', given to Maximal commanders and leaders as well.

Time units to take into account:

A cycle – a minute

Mega-cycle – an hour

Solar cycle – a day

Deca-cycle – a month

Stellar cycle – a year

Disclaimer: Beast Wars Neo and all its characters are owned by Takara.

**Soliloquy of A Mammoth**

Part 1

[The past, ninety stellar cycles ago, planet 'Nebulos', pre-Pax Cybertronia era.]

A battle was being waged on the planet Nebulos. Explosions and laser fire tore across a rocky Nebulan valley. A young Maximal soldier known as High Wire, one of a platoon, peered over the top of his laser-scorched rock cover to scan the battlefield ahead of him. The volleys of canon-fire from the enemy were falling closer to their position with each passing cycle. The Predacons were getting nearer to them.

"Come out, Maximals! Face your deaths like **real** soldiers!" one Predacon taunted aloud, firing wildly into the battlefield.

The observing young Maximal, High Wire, ducked back down behind his rock cover as a laser blast flew over his head. He looked anxiously at his two other crouching Maximal comrades to his left, Sureshock and Grindor.

"At this rate, the Preds are gonna wipe us all out within the next mega-cycle!" he negatively projected to his fellows.

Grindor lifted his gun-carrying arm over their rock cover and fired off a couple of random shots.

"Just keep firing!" he urged through clenched teeth.

"Pathetic Maximals!" a gatling gun-armed Predacon screamed from somewhere nearby to the Maximals, "There's nowhere for you to run or hide!"

At that moment, the shadow of a small spacecraft descended over the gatling gun-wielding Predacon and others with him. The over-shadowed Predacons looked up to see a one-bot Cybertronian fighter spacecraft hovering over their heads. A cargo door slid open on the underside of the craft to reveal the silhouette of a large and burly bot.

"Funny," the silhouetted bot remarked coolly down at the Predacons, "I was just thinking the same thing about the lot of you: nowhere to run or hide."

Suddenly, the silhouetted bot brought an oversized weapon over his shoulder and into his arms. The inside of the weapon's barrel lit up as it prepared to fire.

"What the frag…!" cursed one Predacon.

A beam of incinerating hot yellow energy was fired down upon the Predacons. The resulting explosion threw them in various directions. Other Predacons further away began fleeing. But they too were struck by second and third beams of destructive yellow energy. Smouldering and damaged Predacon bodies were left scattered on the battlefield.

More Predacons moved in and opened fire at the hovering fighter spacecraft. The large, silhouetted bot leapt down out of his craft and landed with ground-shaking impact. He hoisted a huge black and white canon up at the advancing Predacons. They stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of the canon-toting warrior.

"That's…that's Big Convoy!" a Predacon shouted fearfully, "The One-Bot Army!"

The massive, heavily-armed frame of the Maximal General, Big Convoy, towered intimidatingly over the Predacons. Thick, curved mammoth tusks branched from his shoulder armaments. His Prime-like blue-helmeted head bearing horns on either side was unmistakeable. His gold optics eyed the Predacons imposingly.

"He's just one bot!" snarled another Predacon in disbelief, "We'll tear him apar…"

He did not finish his sentence. Big Convoy let loose another ray of fiery yellow energy from his canon into the Predacon ranks, obliterating a whole line of them. The surviving Predacons stared in stunned fear at the Maximal General.

"Face me Predacons! If you dare!" Big Convoy bellowed dangerously.

His tusk-carrying shoulder armour snapped up to reveal an array of shoulder-mounted missiles. He unleashed a rain of ballistics onto fleeing and terrified Predacons.

Nearby, on the Maximal side, High Wire, Grindor and Sureshock watched Big Convoy's single-handed massacre of the Predacon forces in awe.

"It's Big Convoy!" Sureshock exclaimed, looking out through his activated optical magnification lenses, "The Elders must've sent him to help us!"

"Then the tide of this battle has just turned in our favour!" Grindor responded with renewed vigour.

The three Maximals watched a line of explosions rip along the Predacon ranks ahead.

"He's tearing right through them! How does one bot do that?" High Wire wondered aloud. Then he jumped up from their rock cover. "He could do with some back-up! I'm going over there!" he declared eagerly.

"High Wire, maybe we should stay out of the way," Sureshock warned uncertainly, "Big Convoy's…"

But High Wire had transformed into a small hover bike and already taken off.

"…got a reputation for fighting alone."

Predacon body parts littered the path behind Big Convoy. The mammoth Maximal General was being fired upon by some remaining resistive Predacons. Reattaching his large canon onto his back, Big Convoy bent down and dug his fingers into the ground. With a mighty upheaval, he tore a sizable chunk of the rock ground up and lifted it above his head in an incredible display of strength. The Predacons stopped firing and scrambled as the boulder-sized chunk of rock was thrown in their direction.

Suddenly, a large attacker seized Big Convoy from behind. He locked his arms around the Maximal General, strong enough to hold him in place. Big Convoy threw his head back and smashed it into the face of his unseen attacker. The attacker snarled in rage and pain, releasing his grip on Big Convoy. Flipping out his white tongfa battle sticks from both his arms, Big Convoy spun round and slammed them both simultaneously across his attacker's head with concussive force. The large-framed attacker was sent crashing through the ground. Big Convoy's gold optics narrowed at his downed opponent. He recognised him.

"Black Shadow, you were better off staying hidden away from Cybertron," he tonelessly stated, "Now you'll have to answer to the Council."

Big Convoy slowly advanced toward the red, white and black Predacon Black Shadow. Black Shadow edged back cautiously along the ground from the approaching Maximal General.

"The legendary Big Convoy," Black Shadow appealingly acknowledged, "It would seem your 'One-Bot Army' reputation is well earned."

Two guns slid discreetly down Black Shadow's back toward his arms as he talked.

"It's an honour to meet such a distinguished warrior in the metal..."

Suddenly, two long grey guns snapped into Black Shadow's hands and he fired them. Reacting instantaneously, Big Convoy brought up his thickly armoured arms to shield himself. He took the force of several laser blasts as Black Shadow fired continuously at him.

The young Maximal High Wire arrived in hover bike mode to see Big Convoy and Black Shadow engaged in combat. He transformed back into robot mode and ran toward them.

Activating his thigh-mounted jet thrusters, Big Convoy took to the air above Black Shadow, rising out of his opponent's firing line. He positioned his legs apart in the air and fired two red anchor-shaped cutter missiles from the sides of his lower legs. The curved blades of the anchor-shaped projectiles whistled through the air and sliced cleanly through Black Shadow's two long guns. Black Shadow dropped the useless handles of his guns in shock. Big Convoy lowered himself back down to the ground and pulled out his large canon from his back. He aimed it at Black Shadow.

"This fight is over. Surrender, Black Shadow," Big Convoy warningly ordered.

Black Shadow's red optics lowered to a stray gun lying near to his side. He looked back up at Big Convoy opposite him with his canon. Gradually, Black Shadow raised his arms up and slowly dropped to his knees in apparent defeat. Then, without warning, he lunged for the stray gun beside him.

High Wire leapt into the scene then. He threw himself after the lying gun that the much larger Black Shadow was reaching for, attempting to take the weapon out of his reach.

"Get out of the way!" Big Convoy yelled at the young Maximal.

But in a short struggle, Black Shadow overpowered the smaller and weaker High Wire, wrenching the gun out of his grasp and turning him round to face Big Convoy. He held the gun to the young Maximal's head.

"Back off, Big Convoy!" Black Shadow demanded, "Or I'll blow this useless Maximal runt's head off!"

Big Convoy slowly lowered his canon, studying the hostage situation in front of him in frustration.

"Don't be a coward, Black Shadow! Lose the kid and fight me one-on-one!"

Black Shadow grinned maliciously.

"I have a better idea. Let's play a game. CATCH!"

Black Shadow suddenly pushed his young Maximal hostage away and over the edge of a nearby cliff. High Wire cried out as he fell. Big Convoy reacted instantly. He dropped his canon to the ground and jumped over the cliff after him. In mid-descent, he caught High Wire in the air and activated his thigh-mounted jet thrusters. He flew back up to the top of the cliff and landed quickly.

Dropping his rescued young hostage to his feet impatiently, Big Convoy immediately scanned his surroundings frantically for Black Shadow. He was nowhere to be seen. Gone. Big Convoy's hands curled into shaking fists by his sides.

High Wire approached his saviour.

"Thank you for saving me, sir."

Big Convoy spun round to face him with a terrible anger flaring in his gold optics. High Wire shrank back in fear.

"Do you realise what you've just cost me and the Maximal forces?" Big Convoy thundered at the young Maximal, "A dangerous Predacon criminal has just escaped because of you!"

"I…I'm sorry, sir," High Wire whimpered.

Realising that he was scaring the young Maximal, Big Convoy forced his anger back down. With darkened optics, he shook his head and sighed heavily. Then he turned around, picked up his canon from the ground and took off into the air.

A confused and shuddering High Wire was left standing alone amongst the battlefield ruins.

* * *

[The present, aboard the Maximal warp vessel the 'Gung-Ho'.]

I overhear the recruits talking about me again as I walk past the recreation quarters.

"Big Convoy's always so solitary."

Break is complaining again.

"He hates working with us!"

"What did you expect? He's not called 'The One-Bot Army' for nothing!"

That was Cohrada responding.

"He's got a well known anti-social attitude. Always fought battles on his own."

Even the 'best student', Longrack, is contributing.

"We're just burdens on him then."

Stampy…

"It can't be helped. We were assigned to him. He's our instructor now whether we like it or not. We're as much stuck with him as he is with us now."

Heinrad.

They are having trouble accepting me. Not surprising. I didn't expect them to like me. Can't say I feel much for them either.


	2. Chapter 2

Set early in the Beast Wars Neo series. Delving into the past of the infamous lone wolf Maximal General, Big Convoy, the roots of his isolationist attitude are revealed. Big Convoy learned a long time ago that attachment and trust are fragile and dangerous things...

Note that Tracker, White Dash, Micro-break, Blast Charge, Razorshark and Falcia-1 are my own invented names and characters. Though I did take influences from some trademarked Transformers names with Blast Charge, Razorshark and Falcia-1.

**Soliloquy of A Mammoth**

Part 2

It has not been long since we found the black box from Lio Convoy's missing ship on the planet Gaia and first embarked on our current mission to search for the Angolmois capsules scattered across the universe. We have visited more than one planet in the past few deca-cycles and have retrieved a handful of capsules already.

Magmatron and his Predacons have met us nearly at every location we landed upon. Needless to say, there have been plenty of confrontations between our teams already. And I anticipate there will be more to come.

How did I wind up in this situation? Being a teacher to new Maximal military recruits who are pitifully inexperienced and prone to trouble. This is not my way. This is not how I work. This is not what I 'want' to be doing. But I have no choice. The order was given directly from Cybertron's god computer, Vector Sigma. The Maximal Elders related the order to me. I am a general of the Maximal Army. I cannot refuse an order from Vector Sigma or the Elders.

But I loathe this. I loathe being forced to work with others. It is not in my programming to guide a team. I have fought battles alone for so long. I am accustomed to working alone now. Though the Elders and High Council generally disapprove of my lone style, they have seen fit to deploy me on difficult solo missions before. Even they have had to admit my effectiveness as a single warrior. Why have they and Vector Sigma now thrust me into a position I am ill-prepared for?

I am not an ideal commander of troops, though I hold a high-ranking position in the Maximal military forces. I have simply always found it easier to work by myself. The presence of others working with me only adds extra responsibility and distraction. I am most focused and formidable when I fight alone. I don't have to worry about taking care of others that way, and they can't get in my way either.

That is no longer an option now though. I have new soldiers to train, whether I like it or not. And I cannot fail them…again…

* * *

[The past, a hundred stellar cycles ago.]

"Tracker, White Dash, Micro-break, Blast Charge, Razorshark and…Falcia-1."

Aboard a new Maximal ship, a young Maximal captain lowered his data-pad list of names. He was large and well-built, sporting impressive guns on his shoulder armour. His face held a rigid mouth. He scanned the six Maximal soldiers lined up in front of him. The last one on the end, a female, saluted to the captain.

"Falcia-1 at your service, Big Guard, sir," she announced professionally.

The young Maximal captain by the title of 'Big Guard' waved his hand in a negative gesture at the female bot, Falcia-1.

"At ease, Falcia-1. We're not in military camp anymore."

"Apologies, sir. But we are fortunate to have been assigned to one of our camp's best seniors," she complimented with a flattering smile.

The Maximal captain, Big Guard, walked over to the fembot and stopped in front of her. Her body was black and red plated with gold lines framing her armour. She was a flyer; red wings extended from her back. A red and gold helmet of overlapping layers covered her head. She gazed at Big Guard through vibrant blue optics. Big Guard tilted his head slightly to one side as he regarded her.

"You must have me mistaken for someone of a higher rank," the young Maximal captain chuckled.

Falcia-1 continued to smile at him. She raised a hand over the lower half of his face, covering his mouth.

"I reckon a Prime mask would suit you, sir. Who knows? Maybe you'll earn one in future." She glanced at her fellow Maximal teammates. "Then we'll have had the honour of been your first serving soldiers."

Big Guard couldn't stop a small smile presenting itself to her on his maskless face.

* * *

[The present, aboard the Gung-Ho.]

Before I became a Maximal commander and was given the title of 'Convoy', when I was new out of Maximal military training, I had received my first team of Maximal soldiers to lead.

Falcia-1 was one of them. Despite her ambiguity in regards to her background, everything about her seemed trustworthy… They all were…all my first soldiers. I worked with them for eight deca-cycles aboard the vessel 'Carina'…getting to know them…becoming involved…

I was young and naïve. I was willing to trust others…

* * *

[The past, a hundred stellar cycles ago, aboard the Maximal vessel 'Carina'.]

The Maximal captain, Big Guard, turned from a large monitor screen to face his crew.

"We'll be docking at station 18 to refuel and re-supply as soon as we can," he announced. "Micro-break, how far are we now from the station?"

Micro-break looked at a screen on his control panel then back to Big Guard.

"We're about a solar cycle away," he reported.

"Good, we're on schedule. We'll stop there for seven mega-cycles before we move onto the Anvari sector," Big Guard informed his crew.

Falcia-1 sat with her arms crossed at another control panel. Her blue optics were fixed downward and she seemed to shift uncomfortably. Then she looked up at Big Guard and spoke. There was a slightly nervous edge to her voice.

"Sir, forgive me…I neglected to mention earlier, but there was a call…from Ekilia base for us from Marshal Survive. He…said he wanted to speak with you… Perhaps we should delay our stop at station 18 and head to Ekilia first?"

Big Guard considered this for a moment. As he did, his gold optics studied Falcia-1's face. Strangely, her blue optics seemed to be silently pleading for something. He was not sure what, but he dismissed it.

"There's no need to delay our refuelling stop," Big Guard finally decided, "I'll take the Canopus shuttle to Ekilia on my own. The rest of you can take the Carina ship to station 18 on schedule. I will join you all there after I am done at Ekilia."

"Good idea, sir," approved Tracker.

Falcia-1 stood up fully. Her face was tensed.

"We…we've never been without your supervision for so long. You shouldn't go out unaccompanied, sir. Let us come with you."

The other five Maximals looked curiously at Falcia. Her nervousness was becoming apparent.

"Getting distressed at the thought of separation from the boss, Falcia?" joked Blast Charge.

Falcia glared at her fellow Maximal crew member. Blast Charge simply smirked. The smaller White Dash sniggered next to him.

Big Guard shook his head at Falcia.

"It's alright, Falcia," he reassured, "I think I can handle myself at Ekilia. And I'm sure the rest of you will take care of the Carina until I return. I trust you."

"The ship will be in good hands, sir," Razorshark affirmed.

Big Guard nodded at him. He caught Falcia's blue optics falling slightly.

"Yes, sir," she quietly acknowledged.

Big Guard approached her.

"Is something troubling you, Falcia?" he asked in a low, concerned voice.

She forced a small smile to her captain.

"No, sir. It's nothing. Nothing at all."

* * *

[The present, aboard the Gung-Ho.]

I hear Break and the others continue to speak their frustrations about me from behind the closed door of the recreation quarters. They are saying how I dislike them and am hard on them, how I wish to be free of the burden of them.

I lean my back against the wall next to the closer door.

They are right.

I do wish for the liberation of solitude again.

No more responsibility, no more obstacles in my way, no more pain, no more loss, no more lies….

I don't want to go through them again…

* * *

[The past, a hundred stellar cycles ago, outpost Ekilia Maximal base.]

Big Guard stood outside the small shuttle, 'Canopus'. He had parked it in a bay space on Ekilia base.

He was looking at a projected holo-screen in front of him and had one hand held over the audio com-link in the side of his head. He was attempting to contact someone.

"Marshal Survive? Are you there?"

There was no response in Big Guard's audio com-link. He frowned.

"Strange. Falcia said he'd be waiting for me here."

A red signal accompanied by a warning alarm appeared suddenly on Big Guard's projected holo-screen. He immediately looked at it. His gold optics widened.

"The Carina…"

* * *

[The present, aboard the Gung-Ho.]

Falcia-1. I had trusted her along with the others. I never suspected…

I had headed to Ekilia base in the smaller Canopus shuttle, leaving the others on the Carina. I did not dream anything would go wrong. I was confident in my crew.

When I reached Ekilia base and tried to contact Marshal Survive, I found he was not there. I wondered if Falcia had reported the wrong location.

Then I received the distress signal from the Carina. The signal was coming from station 18. I departed Ekilia immediately.

I thought perhaps there had been a simple accident with the Carina at the station. That maybe Micro-break had pulled a wrong wire somewhere, or Blast Charge had set off another one of his small explosives again and blown a hole in the hull. I didn't believe any of my crew would be hurt. I didn't want to believe that.

What I found at station 18 one and a half mega-cycles later was worse than anything I could have imagined…

**To be concluded.**


	3. Chapter 3

Here be the final part. Big Convoy remembers the terrible price of trust and his unwanted promotion into a Maximal leader. What memories burden this lone warrior in his moments of quiet?

Thank you for the reviews, Wolf Prime. Appreciated as always.

Next week, I'll be posting up a short "Robots in Disguise" universe-set fic spotlighting the dark clone of Optimus Prime: Scourge!

**Soliloquy of A Mammoth**

Part 3

[The past, a hundred stellar cycles ago, Maximal supply station 18.]

Big Guard was staring in disbelief at the monitor screen within the Canopus shuttle. Station 18 had been attacked. Smoke was rising from its entryways and from various windows. The docking bays for ships were covered in the broken pieces of destroyed ships. Marks from laser fire and explosives covered the station walls.

Big Guard pulled the Canopus into the first available bay space he could find and de-boarded.

He walked slowly through the rubble of ship hulls. It was too quiet. Where were his team? He headed for the station compound.

His foot caught onto something. He looked down. There was a heavy cubic metal object buried between ship plating pieces there. He bent down and pulled it out from the rubble mess.

No…

He dropped the object. It fell with a clang to the ground. It was a torn arm! It looked like the arm of his youngest crew member, White Dash. The Maximal insignia was displayed on one side of it.

Big Guard's optics rapidly scanned his surrounding area. To his cold horror, he spotted more Maximal body parts littered on the ground around him. His head shook in denial. Then he saw an intact winged black and red body lying nearby. He rushed over to it.

It was Falcia-1. She lay still and lifeless with a gaping laser hole in her chest. Big Guard fell to his knees beside her.

"Falcia…" he uttered.

Her optics were dark. Big Guard's hand drifted to her face and his fingers brushed it gently. He then picked up her limp body in his arms.

As he knelt there cradling Falcia-1's damaged body, grief overwhelming him, he suddenly noticed something grasped in her hand. He reached for it. Carefully, he pried her fingers open. Big Guard's optics widened in shock. A short sentence he had spoken to Falcia earlier rung in his mind.

"_I trust you."_

There in her palm was a Predacon badge.

* * *

[The present, aboard the Gung-Ho.]

A Predacon agent. All along. She had deceived us all.

But I also remembered what she had said to me back on the Carina…

"_You shouldn't go out unaccompanied, sir._ _Let us come with you."_

It suddenly made sense. Why she had seemed nervous when I last saw her. She must have known the ambush that was awaiting at station 18. Whoever her Predacon superiors were, they had planned the attack on the station for some reason. Falcia-1 had been trying to talk me into taking the rest of the crew with me to Ekilia base to avoid the attack. She had made up the call she reported from Ekilia to keep me away from station 18. That's why Marshal Survive had not been there.

Had she become conflicted between allegiances? In the process of infiltrating the Maximal ranks for the Predacons, had she grown to care for her Maximal comrades and friends? Is that why she tried indirectly to save us from the attack at station 18? Or had she just been serving some other agenda?

Whatever the reasons behind her actions, she had succeeded only in saving me. She along with the others perished.

Why she had been offlined too is a mystery. She had obviously been shot in the chest. By whom? Had it been by one of our Maximal crew members that had realised her treachery? Or had she been taken down by a fellow Predacon? Perhaps for failing somehow in her mission or defying them? Had she perhaps fallen in an attempt to protect her Maximal comrades? Or maybe she had leapt intentionally in front of gunfire in an act of suicide? Perhaps she had grown weary of her own deception.

I did not know whether to mourn her or hate her.

I later discovered she had no existing records from before her enrolment with the Maximal military service. There was no known Maximal or Predacon by the name of 'Falcia-1'. Falcia-1, if that was even her real name, had been nothing more than a deceptive and well-crafted Predacon illusion.

An illusion that had saved my life.

Whatever her original mission involving infiltration into the Maximal military ranks had been, she had evidently faltered in it and paid the ultimate price. I imagine how she must have been torn between what she was obliged to do and what she wanted, her Predacon masters or the Maximals she had grown to love. She compromised. When she failed to convince me to take the rest of the crew with me to Ekilia, she returned to her masters with most of our Maximal crew and our ship. But she had managed to spare me and revealed to me her deception in her death.

We all know the risks of being soldiers. But we don't always understand the price. A price of grief and bitterness for the ones that are left behind.

From the loss of my first crew, the 'One-Bot Army' was created. For a hundred stellar cycles after, he fought alone, unwilling to let others close to him again.

I became self-reliant, untrusting, intolerant, impenetrable, isolated… I wanted to be free of the weight, deception, grief and responsibilities of working with others.

I refused to take command of anymore Maximal soldiers and earned my reputation as a formidable lone warrior. I plunged into battlefields on my own armed with my canon, missiles and melee weapons. I never wanted support. I just wanted others to stay out of my way. The Elders and High Council soon began to view me as something of a rogue Maximal warrior.

Do past experiences make us who we are? Some of us find it hard to ever move on…

* * *

[The past, ninety-five stellar cycles ago, Cybertron.]

Big Guard stood utterly straight and unmoving in the centre of a grand circular chamber, the perfect picture of military discipline. As he held himself in his erect trained posture, head tilted down, he remained acutely aware of his surroundings. Around him, the various shrouded forms of the Maximal Elders looked down at him from raised platforms. Big Guard attentively listened to their words.

"Big Guard, we have summoned you for an important announcement," echoed one Elder.

"You have served loyally and with tremendous potential in the Maximal military forces for fifty stellar cycles now," a second Elder spoke, "But in the last five stellar cycles, reports have suggested that you have become somewhat…quiet and isolated. Do you have anything to say about that, Big Guard?"

Big Guard's response was monotonous.

"No, Honourable Elder. I do not."

"Big, we know what happened at station 18 five stellar cycles ago," a third Elder resonated, "We know what happened to your first team and that you have been deeply affected by it."

"But you must be willing to move out of the past and into the future," a fourth Elder continued, "It is imperative that you do so now."

"You must learn to work with others again," a fifth Elder stated, "You must learn to be a leader."

Big Guard lifted his head slightly. His expression had become one of controlled curiosity.

"Elders? What are you saying?"

The first Elder who had spoken looked round at his fellow Elders. There were subtle nods from each of them in response. He looked back down at Big Guard and proceeded.

"Big Guard, Vector Sigma has named you to be a Matrix-bearer. You are to become a Convoy."

Big Guard's unwavering military posture suddenly cracked. His hands visibly tensed in surprise. His gold optics widened.

"No...," Big Guard uttered in a low voice, "No!" he then said louder and more urgently, "This isn't right. It's too soon. I have not earned the title. And I have made serious mistakes in judgements. I lost my entire team at station 18 and failed to be aware of…a deceptive member amongst them. I have made fatal errors that a Maximal commander cannot afford."

"All valid points. And in addition, a commander must be confident and willing to lead troops," the fifth Elder firmly stated.

Big Guard's face hardened.

"I decline."

The fourth Elder shook his head, a look of apology in his optics.

"This comes from Vector Sigma. It's not a matter of choice…'Big Convoy'."

* * *

[The present, aboard the Gung-Ho.]

I wasn't ready to be a leader then. I still am not now.

I am a warrior before a leader.

Cybertron's sentient god computer, Vector Sigma, works in mysterious ways. She can give orders on occasion that require much faith from all Cybertron's leaders to follow. But her words are law to us. We trust in her timeless and divine wisdom. It is often the case that we do not always immediately know what her purpose or reasons for an order may be. Vector Sigma is as old as Cybertron itself and she operates with prophecy and ancient energy.

I cannot fathom why Vector Sigma wanted me to become a Maximal commander. I am insufficient as a leader. I have been for the last one hundred stellar cycles. What grand design does our god computer have for me?

Becoming a Convoy went against my instincts to work alone. The expectation of leading others was counter-intuitive for me.

My fingers rise to touch my mask. Big Guard lays sealed underneath forever.

It is like being caged, caged within responsibility and duty.

I struggle perpetually with the internal conflict between what I wish for and what I must be. I dream of the freedom of isolation, but must accept the duty of leadership. I know leadership is rarely an easy task. Something is always sacrificed for it.

I am changing. I can feel it. The role of mentor is forcing me into working with, trusting and relying on others again. I am transforming into something more than the solitary warrior. I am becoming a teacher, a leader of others. Vector Sigma probably wanted this to happen. I know the Elders and High Council have wanted this from me too.

But why me? Why was I chosen to lead? To carry an Energon Matrix?

My hand falls upon my chest. I feel the gentle radiation of the Matrix's energy within me. I am directly linked to Vector Sigma through this Matrix, and through it, Vector Sigma guides and influences me into an unknown future that only she knows. She speaks through my voice and I am compelled to let her pull me. We are powerless to resist the grip of destiny.

I am walking toward the Gung-Ho's command centre now. I no longer hear the voices of my Maximal trainees. I've left them far behind.

My memories are flashing before my optics.

I see Blast Charge, Tracker, White Dash, Micro-break, Razorshark…and Falcia-1 again.

I see Longrack, Cohrada, Break, Stampy and Heinrad in the present.

I find myself smiling involuntarily again to Falcia.

I watch Black Shadow holding the young Maximal hostage before me.

I stare horrified at the body parts of my first crew scattered on the ground around me.

I hear an Elder's words echo through my audio sensors: "It's not a matter of choice…'Big Convoy'."

I am cradling the offline body of Falcia-1.

I am looking at the Predacon insignia in her hand.

Again and again and again…

Standing alone at the central controls in the command centre now, I gaze out of the Gung-Ho's monitor screens at the uncountable stars littering the darkness of space. It is peaceful and quiet. I savour this rare moment of silence and solitude.

I know more often than not, the most important battles we fight…

…are the ones we fight alone.

**End.**


End file.
